How to prevent bullying at school?
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Procyona
Зарегистрирован: 09.09.2012 Сообщения: 1876 Откуда: Finland
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Добавлено: 07.10.2014, 20:24 Заголовок сообщения: How to prevent bullying at school? |
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Here in Finland we have a big discussion about how to prevent bullying at schools.
What do you think one can do? To my mind, anyone can prevent harassment when
they trust in themselves and believe themselves worthy. Then they can teach it to
others, if they want. When the situation has already happened, you can also make
sure that the bully, the one that was bullied and others involved return to this idea
of worthiness.   _________________ "As you think, so shall you become." - Bruce Lee
"Have fun, do good, and the money will come." - Richard Branson
"Believe in yourself. Keep writing." - Neil Gaiman   |
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Gra-ach
Зарегистрирован: 08.11.2011 Сообщения: 3336
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Добавлено: 09.10.2014, 16:40 Заголовок сообщения: |
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I think it depends on the age of one bullying and one being bullied. My colleague the other day said that his kid (8 y.o.) is being picked upon by other kid in his class. And the other kid is much bigger, less bright and likes picking fights with everyone. So the general consensus was to tell my co-workers kid to learn how to fight and as it was being put "to defend yourself until the other guy is calmed down". I am not sure it's a good idea and I don't think I will give my kid such advice in the same situation. My take is that if one being bullied understands his or her worth, behaves confidently and doesn't raise to the bait then others wouldn't pick fights - it won't be interesting. Besides I always thought that your brai and tongue are the best allies in such situations. (although there were times when I wished I knew how to do some major damage )
http://wcau.com.ua/forum/viewtopic.php?p=62087#62087   _________________ What doesn't destroy me, makes me stronger. - F. Nietzshe
Your life is yours alone, rise up and live it! - T. Goodkind
May you live every day of your life. - J. Swift   |
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Procyona
Зарегистрирован: 09.09.2012 Сообщения: 1876 Откуда: Finland
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Добавлено: 09.10.2014, 20:14 Заголовок сообщения: |
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Gra-ach писал(а): | So the general consensus was to tell my co-workers kid to learn how to fight and as it was being put "to defend yourself until the other
guy is calmed down". I am not sure it's a good idea and I don't think I will give my kid such advice in the same situation. |
Then what if the other guy does not calm down? Just keep fighting?
I don't think fighting back is the best solution, and don't know if talking back
would even worsen it. Sometimes just walking away from the spot might work
(if you have the guts to!), at least when it's only words, not fists.   _________________ "As you think, so shall you become." - Bruce Lee
"Have fun, do good, and the money will come." - Richard Branson
"Believe in yourself. Keep writing." - Neil Gaiman   |
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Художник
Зарегистрирован: 14.02.2012 Сообщения: 1647 Откуда: Киев
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Добавлено: 09.10.2014, 21:16 Заголовок сообщения: |
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Sorry, but when i hear about bullies in school, this video is always on my mind
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqy__XOZ1Hc
how to prevent - dont let involve yourself in situation   _________________ {per aspera ad astra}
Be water,my friend.   |
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Gra-ach
Зарегистрирован: 08.11.2011 Сообщения: 3336
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Добавлено: 10.10.2014, 12:36 Заголовок сообщения: |
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Procyona писал(а): | Then what if the other guy does not calm down? Just keep fighting? |
That was my main objection to this proposal. Besides, how can a child understand when someone else calms down?!
Procyona писал(а): |
I don't think fighting back is the best solution, and don't know if talking back
would even worsen it. Sometimes just walking away from the spot might work
(if you have the guts to!), at least when it's only words, not fists. |
You can't walk away in the middle of the class. Or in crowded cafeteria it may not be an option.
I think to show that you are impervious to such actions is the best course of action. Oh and it should be collective decision tofight with a bully - if you're one on one he or she will continue to pick fights until finds better target. But if whole class (or at least a big number of kids) oppose such person it may change the course of actions. But usually it's the other way round - bullies get support because noone wants to be their target and it's easier to go with the flow.   _________________ What doesn't destroy me, makes me stronger. - F. Nietzshe
Your life is yours alone, rise up and live it! - T. Goodkind
May you live every day of your life. - J. Swift   |
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Procyona
Зарегистрирован: 09.09.2012 Сообщения: 1876 Откуда: Finland
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Добавлено: 10.10.2014, 20:33 Заголовок сообщения: |
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Gra-ach писал(а): | Besides, how can a child understand when someone else calms down?! |
Indeed
Gra-ach писал(а): | You can't walk away in the middle of the class. Or in crowded cafeteria it may not be an option. |
Yeah, true. I wonder if ignoring the bullies without leaving would work though.
It would be leaving the situation only partly..
Gra-ach писал(а): | I think to show that you are impervious to such actions is the best course of action. Oh and it should be collective decision tofight with a bully - if you're one on one he or she will continue to pick fights until finds better target. But if whole class (or at least a big number of kids) oppose such person it may change the course of actions. But usually it's the other way round - bullies get support because noone wants to be their target and it's easier to go with the flow. |
True. And usually the ones being bullied are the ones that are different from
the group, and the ones siding are also left out. it would work, if the group
defending would have a stronger identity, I think.   _________________ "As you think, so shall you become." - Bruce Lee
"Have fun, do good, and the money will come." - Richard Branson
"Believe in yourself. Keep writing." - Neil Gaiman   |
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Gra-ach
Зарегистрирован: 08.11.2011 Сообщения: 3336
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Добавлено: 10.10.2014, 23:23 Заголовок сообщения: |
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Procyona писал(а): | I wonder if ignoring the bullies without leaving would work though.
It would be leaving the situation only partly.. |
Since the kid's attention span is not very big, if they don't receive the response they expect it will soon become boring. At least it's the case in all other spheres
Procyona писал(а): | True. And usually the ones being bullied are the ones that are different from the group, and the ones siding are also left out. it would work, if the group defending would have a stronger identity, I think. |
Yes, I think you're correct. It takes guts to stand up to someone, especially several someones.   _________________ What doesn't destroy me, makes me stronger. - F. Nietzshe
Your life is yours alone, rise up and live it! - T. Goodkind
May you live every day of your life. - J. Swift   |
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Gra-ach
Зарегистрирован: 08.11.2011 Сообщения: 3336
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Добавлено: 14.10.2014, 17:07 Заголовок сообщения: |
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I saw a video today about working with bullied kids using martial arts. I think it's a great udea. And the idea of preventing being bullied by being sure of yourself is a true one.
https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=570035603106858   _________________ What doesn't destroy me, makes me stronger. - F. Nietzshe
Your life is yours alone, rise up and live it! - T. Goodkind
May you live every day of your life. - J. Swift   |
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Procyona
Зарегистрирован: 09.09.2012 Сообщения: 1876 Откуда: Finland
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Добавлено: 14.10.2014, 17:16 Заголовок сообщения: |
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This is really great, because it works in practice too!
And if the bullies know you practice martial arts, they might be more careful too.
But confidence is the thing, that has more value for the practitioner for the rest of
their lives.   _________________ "As you think, so shall you become." - Bruce Lee
"Have fun, do good, and the money will come." - Richard Branson
"Believe in yourself. Keep writing." - Neil Gaiman   |
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Gra-ach
Зарегистрирован: 08.11.2011 Сообщения: 3336
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Добавлено: 14.10.2014, 17:37 Заголовок сообщения: |
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Procyona писал(а): | But confidence is the thing, that has more value for the practitioner for the rest of their lives. |
I totaly agree. And I think it's even more important than to know how to kick someone's butt   _________________ What doesn't destroy me, makes me stronger. - F. Nietzshe
Your life is yours alone, rise up and live it! - T. Goodkind
May you live every day of your life. - J. Swift   |
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Procyona
Зарегистрирован: 09.09.2012 Сообщения: 1876 Откуда: Finland
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Добавлено: 16.10.2014, 09:11 Заголовок сообщения: |
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Gra-ach писал(а): | Procyona писал(а): | But confidence is the thing, that has more value for the practitioner for the rest of their lives. |
I totaly agree. And I think it's even more important than to know how to kick someone's butt |
Yeah, and time-wise you don't need butt kicking skill nowhere near as much.   _________________ "As you think, so shall you become." - Bruce Lee
"Have fun, do good, and the money will come." - Richard Branson
"Believe in yourself. Keep writing." - Neil Gaiman   |
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Haveunique Instructor
Зарегистрирован: 14.07.2010 Сообщения: 3815
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Добавлено: 16.10.2014, 18:49 Заголовок сообщения: |
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Milla, do you remember what happened here at the university at our presentation? What did you do? What would you do in this situation nowadays? If it is just talk about abstract matters, it doesn't matter, our actions show everything.   _________________ Не пытайся - делай.
Try not, do.
http://ouluwingchun.wordpress.com/
https://www.facebook.com/TraditionalWingChunOulu   |
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Haveunique Instructor
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Художник
Зарегистрирован: 14.02.2012 Сообщения: 1647 Откуда: Киев
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Добавлено: 16.10.2014, 20:53 Заголовок сообщения: |
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Tanya, video shows fear against violence, i think   _________________ {per aspera ad astra}
Be water,my friend.   |
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Gra-ach
Зарегистрирован: 08.11.2011 Сообщения: 3336
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Добавлено: 17.10.2014, 17:06 Заголовок сообщения: |
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Another author wrote about being bullied at school: http://www.entangledteen.com/onevoice-against-bullying-rachel-caine/
And talking about any kind of provocation, SiFu told me during his last visit: if a person manages to get any emotion form you, then you're a goner - you can't think clearly, you can't act in timely manner, you can't come up with any kind of intelligent responce to the situation. And this other person is controlling you. If you can turn the tables and get your "attacker" emotional, then you're the winner.
And it's correct not only in hand-to-hand but in speach-to-speach as well.   _________________ What doesn't destroy me, makes me stronger. - F. Nietzshe
Your life is yours alone, rise up and live it! - T. Goodkind
May you live every day of your life. - J. Swift   |
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