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Importance of criticism
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Gra-ach
Зарегистрирован: 08.11.2011
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 Добавлено: 21.10.2013, 21:59 Заголовок сообщения: Re: Importance of criticism |
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| Skywalker писал(а): | | It looks like "well, I did all this s..t to him, but see - he's not so good either, so he deserves it". |
But by doing such thing, you waist the precious time of your life on someone, who's not worth it and things a good person can't be proud of.
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Skywalker
Зарегистрирован: 08.10.2013
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| Добавлено: 21.10.2013, 22:37 Заголовок сообщения: Re: Importance of criticism |
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| Gra-ach писал(а): |
But by doing such thing, you waist the precious time of your life on someone, who's not worth it and things a good person can't be proud of. |
Well, it was just an example, I never meant it was the right way of doing things. =)
| Procyona писал(а): |
And sadly that kind of thinking does not even up anything; life is never fair  |
Well, for sure that's a lousy way of thinking (in my humble opinion at least), same is harsh criticizing.
I just tried to show my point of view on why it happens. =) |
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Haveunique
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| Добавлено: 23.10.2013, 13:48 Заголовок сообщения: Re: Importance of criticism |
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| Gra-ach писал(а): | | Skywalker писал(а): | | It looks like "well, I did all this s..t to him, but see - he's not so good either, so he deserves it". |
But by doing such thing, you waist the precious time of your life on someone, who's not worth it and things a good person can't be proud of. |
"Someone who is not worth our time" is an interesting comment, Ira. How is it possible that we end up spending time with people to whom we then attach such labels? If it wasn't worth anything at all, why were we with them in the first place?
Same goes for critique... Whatever anyone does or says, they have a reason for it and our misunderstanding of that reason doesn't mean they are not worth our time. What do you guys say?
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Try not, do.
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Procyona
Зарегистрирован: 09.09.2012
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| Добавлено: 23.10.2013, 21:03 Заголовок сообщения: Re: Importance of criticism |
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| Procyona писал(а): |
And sadly that kind of thinking does not even up anything; life is never fair |
Well, for sure that's a lousy way of thinking (in my humble opinion at least), same is harsh criticizing.
I just tried to show my point of view on why it happens. =)[/quote]
Well, how I understand is that if I decide the world is fair it becomes fair (in the deciders view), and if I decide it's not it then isn't (again, in the view of the decider). What ever reasoning follows after that depends on the decicion. But I do understand your point 
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Procyona
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| Добавлено: 23.10.2013, 21:08 Заголовок сообщения: Re: Importance of criticism |
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| Haveunique писал(а): | | Whatever anyone does or says, they have a reason for it and our misunderstanding of that reason doesn't mean they are not worth our time. What do you guys say? |
Very interesting point, thank you Tetyana! I think the want to not use our time on anything that is 'not worth it', was it a person, event or something else arises from fear as well. It is that fear we see in the person as well, not what she or he is.
_________________
"As you think, so shall you become." - Bruce Lee
"Have fun, do good, and the money will come." - Richard Branson
"Believe in yourself. Keep writing." - Neil Gaiman |
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Skywalker
Зарегистрирован: 08.10.2013
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| Добавлено: 23.10.2013, 22:57 Заголовок сообщения: Re: Importance of criticism |
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| Procyona писал(а): |
Well, how I understand is that if I decide the world is fair it becomes fair (in the deciders view), and if I decide it's not it then isn't (again, in the view of the decider). What ever reasoning follows after that depends on the decision. But I do understand your point |
What I meant was that when I do something to anybody, I KNOW if it is fair or not (obviously from my point of view). I never meant to talk about the whole world being fair at all.
| Haveunique писал(а): | | "Someone who is not worth our time" is an interesting comment, Ira. How is it possible that we end up spending time with people to whom we then attach such labels? If it wasn't worth anything at all, why were we with them in the first place? |
It's just a point of view (of some people, I'm sure nobody here shares it), something like "I thought Peter was a cool guy, worth wasting my golden precious and ultravaluable time on him, but he turned out to be such a $#$ @#&, he's just a piece of %&$, how could I at all talk to him?!"
| Haveunique писал(а): | | Same goes for critique... Whatever anyone does or says, they have a reason for it and our misunderstanding of that reason doesn't mean they are not worth our time. What do you guys say? |
I'm not sure about my whole life (to say "never"), but I haven't thought about such things (like was smb worth my time or not) for ages, thats for sure. =)
P.S. Funny that all three of us could discuss it in Russian, but still are here. Here's even more interesting 'cause it's quite out of habit and makes me (and perhaps you) think English, sort of think different. |
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Haveunique
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Procyona
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| Добавлено: 24.10.2013, 12:17 Заголовок сообщения: Re: Importance of criticism |
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| Skywalker писал(а): | | What I meant was that when I do something to anybody, I KNOW if it is fair or not (obviously from my point of view). I never meant to talk about the whole world being fair at all. |
Sorry for misinterpretation then. For me words 'life' and 'world' are very close synonyms.
| Skywalker писал(а): | | Here's even more interesting 'cause it's quite out of habit and makes me (and perhaps you) think English, sort of think different. |
You have that right! Every time you switch language you put on a different mentality, like you would rotate your brain a little bit to get a different view. And it's not all: Speking in different language has been shown to affect even the personality of the speaker!
Do you guys think the language that is used to make the critic affects the interpretation? To me it does, as the culture shapes the way the words are used and in some cultures it is more commen to say things direct than in others. Not knowing the cultural nuances may lead to misinterpretations.
_________________
"As you think, so shall you become." - Bruce Lee
"Have fun, do good, and the money will come." - Richard Branson
"Believe in yourself. Keep writing." - Neil Gaiman |
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Skywalker
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| Добавлено: 25.10.2013, 22:17 Заголовок сообщения: |
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| Haveunique писал(а): | | Skywalker, who do you mean by saying "all three of us"? |
Oups, sorry, I meant all four of us of course. =))))))
I meant the people who wrote in this topic while I did. =)
But even if we look at all seven of us who at all wrote here, the idea wouldn't change. =))
| Procyona писал(а): | | Sorry for misinterpretation then. For me words 'life' and 'world' are very close synonyms. |
Well, I didn't write about life being fair either. I just meant that one can do something to another one that he (the first one) considers unfair, or for example would say it was unfair if done to him.
And after such things he now wants to criticize to prove that that "unfair" action was deserved. =)
Well, that's just a point of view, I don't insist. =) |
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Procyona
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| Добавлено: 26.10.2013, 18:57 Заголовок сообщения: |
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| Skywalker писал(а): | | Haveunique писал(а): | | Skywalker, who do you mean by saying "all three of us"? |
Oups, sorry, I meant all four of us of course. =))))))
I meant the people who wrote in this topic while I did. =)
But even if we look at all seven of us who at all wrote here, the idea wouldn't change. =)) |
Well, I don't speak (or write, for that matter) Russian, so I would be left out of this equation.
_________________
"As you think, so shall you become." - Bruce Lee
"Have fun, do good, and the money will come." - Richard Branson
"Believe in yourself. Keep writing." - Neil Gaiman |
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Skywalker
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| Добавлено: 26.10.2013, 23:01 Заголовок сообщения: |
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| Procyona писал(а): | | Well, I don't speak (or write, for that matter) Russian, so I would be left out of this equation. |
Wow. =) Quite unexpected. =) Well, I don't remember why, but I thought you did. =) Then it really wasn't true. =) |
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Procyona
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| Добавлено: 27.10.2013, 12:39 Заголовок сообщения: |
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| Skywalker писал(а): | | Procyona писал(а): | | Well, I don't speak (or write, for that matter) Russian, so I would be left out of this equation. |
Wow. =) Quite unexpected. =) Well, I don't remember why, but I thought you did. =) Then it really wasn't true. =) |
Funny thing with expectations is that you usually don't get it right. But it's hard to know sometimes what is expectations and what is not. Been there done that, and still working on it.
_________________
"As you think, so shall you become." - Bruce Lee
"Have fun, do good, and the money will come." - Richard Branson
"Believe in yourself. Keep writing." - Neil Gaiman |
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Haveunique
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| Добавлено: 28.10.2013, 21:46 Заголовок сообщения: |
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Going back to criticism topic. There is this scale of our being where we move along: feeling great <--> feeling unfairness <--> feeling some kind of pain. Or in different wording, love <--> blame <--> suffering.
So as soon as there is any kind of complaints or harsh criticism (either from the doer or the receiver of the action), it means the person stopped loving and started moving in the direction of suffering. But of course this also is a very generalized statement.
I like thinking that one doesn't necessarily have to move all the way back and forth and can choose where to stay the most and learn how to do it. Again this is very simple to say and not so easy to do... but I maintain that it is possible and skills are available. So noticing criticism can be a very valuable discovery in this regard in particular!
_________________
Не пытайся - делай.
Try not, do.
http://ouluwingchun.wordpress.com/
https://www.facebook.com/TraditionalWingChunOulu |
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Procyona
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| Добавлено: 28.10.2013, 22:34 Заголовок сообщения: |
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Nice notion Tetyana, do you think that the one receaving the critic is also in the state of non-loving when he notices the critic? I think one has to. Because if you are in the state of love, you do not feel a need to protect yourself, and therefore you cannot even feel the agression of others. You may, however, notice the tension of the other person.
_________________
"As you think, so shall you become." - Bruce Lee
"Have fun, do good, and the money will come." - Richard Branson
"Believe in yourself. Keep writing." - Neil Gaiman |
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Haveunique
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