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Humor
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Faroth
Зарегистрирован: 09.12.2014
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Откуда: Finland
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 Добавлено: 04.05.2016, 18:27 Заголовок сообщения: |
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The book was better. 
_________________
"Having 2 ears and one tongue means we should listen twice as much as we speak."
"I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas Edison"
-The road to success is always under construction" -Lily Tomlin |
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Faroth
Зарегистрирован: 09.12.2014
Сообщения: 461
Откуда: Finland
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| Добавлено: 04.05.2016, 18:30 Заголовок сообщения: |
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Is there a hole in the shoe?
_________________
"Having 2 ears and one tongue means we should listen twice as much as we speak."
"I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas Edison"
-The road to success is always under construction" -Lily Tomlin |
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Faroth
Зарегистрирован: 09.12.2014
Сообщения: 461
Откуда: Finland
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| Добавлено: 07.05.2016, 11:49 Заголовок сообщения: |
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Mastery of water bending.
_________________
"Having 2 ears and one tongue means we should listen twice as much as we speak."
"I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas Edison"
-The road to success is always under construction" -Lily Tomlin |
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Faroth
Зарегистрирован: 09.12.2014
Сообщения: 461
Откуда: Finland
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| Добавлено: 11.05.2016, 11:54 Заголовок сообщения: |
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Okay, the mystery is now cracked.
_________________
"Having 2 ears and one tongue means we should listen twice as much as we speak."
"I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas Edison"
-The road to success is always under construction" -Lily Tomlin |
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| Вернуться к началу |
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Gra-ach
Зарегистрирован: 08.11.2011
Сообщения: 3336
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| Добавлено: 21.05.2016, 01:32 Заголовок сообщения: |
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Why do witches never ride their brooms when they are angry?
A: Because they fly off the handle.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A: because he had no guts...
How do skeletons bid their farewell?
A: "Bone Voyage".
What is a witch's favourite subject?
Spelling ^^
Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry? They're afraid of flying off the handle.
How can you tell when a vampire has a cold? By his coffin.
_________________
What doesn't destroy me, makes me stronger. - F. Nietzshe
Your life is yours alone, rise up and live it! - T. Goodkind
May you live every day of your life. - J. Swift |
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Procyona
Зарегистрирован: 09.09.2012
Сообщения: 1876
Откуда: Finland
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| Добавлено: 17.06.2016, 06:55 Заголовок сообщения: |
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Even at a Mensa convention someone is the dumbest person in the room.
source: http://www.jokebuddha.com/Convention#ixzz4Bo0JAREG
_________________
"As you think, so shall you become." - Bruce Lee
"Have fun, do good, and the money will come." - Richard Branson
"Believe in yourself. Keep writing." - Neil Gaiman |
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Procyona
Зарегистрирован: 09.09.2012
Сообщения: 1876
Откуда: Finland
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| Добавлено: 26.06.2016, 19:46 Заголовок сообщения: |
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There is someone out there for everyone. Unfortunately, statistically speaking, based on the numbers, yours is probably in India or China.
- Ruminations.com
_________________
"As you think, so shall you become." - Bruce Lee
"Have fun, do good, and the money will come." - Richard Branson
"Believe in yourself. Keep writing." - Neil Gaiman |
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Procyona
Зарегистрирован: 09.09.2012
Сообщения: 1876
Откуда: Finland
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| Добавлено: 26.06.2016, 19:47 Заголовок сообщения: |
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On writing, why not everything else. 
_________________
"As you think, so shall you become." - Bruce Lee
"Have fun, do good, and the money will come." - Richard Branson
"Believe in yourself. Keep writing." - Neil Gaiman |
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Gra-ach
Зарегистрирован: 08.11.2011
Сообщения: 3336
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| Добавлено: 30.07.2016, 18:44 Заголовок сообщения: |
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The recreational director of a mental hospital wanted to take a well-behaved group of inmates to a baseball game. The General Manager of the club was a little leery of this. When the Recreational Director said: "If I prove to you how well behaved they are, will you let them in?" The General Director agreed. The group of inmates came in and sat down. The Recreational Director shouted: "Stand up, nuts!" Everyone stood up. "Sit down, nuts!" Everyone sat down. "Look behind you, nuts!" Everyone turned around. Pleased with that, the General Manager let them in. About the third inning or so, he heard a tremendous commotion. People were running helter skelter. He asked what happened and was told that someone had called out: "PEA NUTS!"
_________________
What doesn't destroy me, makes me stronger. - F. Nietzshe
Your life is yours alone, rise up and live it! - T. Goodkind
May you live every day of your life. - J. Swift |
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Gra-ach
Зарегистрирован: 08.11.2011
Сообщения: 3336
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| Добавлено: 30.07.2016, 18:45 Заголовок сообщения: |
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| Procyona писал(а): | There is someone out there for everyone. Unfortunately, statistically speaking, based on the numbers, yours is probably in India or China.
- Ruminations.com |
I had a feeling that going to China and India is a good idea. Now I know why 
_________________
What doesn't destroy me, makes me stronger. - F. Nietzshe
Your life is yours alone, rise up and live it! - T. Goodkind
May you live every day of your life. - J. Swift |
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Gra-ach
Зарегистрирован: 08.11.2011
Сообщения: 3336
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| Добавлено: 30.07.2016, 18:45 Заголовок сообщения: |
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A large company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO.
This new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a wall.
The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he
meant business!
The new CEO walked up to the guy leaning against the wall and
asked, "How much money do you make a week?"
A little surprised, the young fellow looked at him and replied, "I make
$300 a week. Why?"
The CEO then handed the guy $1,200 in cash and screamed,
"Here's four weeks' pay, now GET OUT and don't come back."
Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the
room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that
goof-off did here?"
From across the room came a voice, "Pizza delivery guy
from Domino's, waiting for the foreman to bring him today's list."
PS. I wouldn't mind being that employee
_________________
What doesn't destroy me, makes me stronger. - F. Nietzshe
Your life is yours alone, rise up and live it! - T. Goodkind
May you live every day of your life. - J. Swift |
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Gra-ach
Зарегистрирован: 08.11.2011
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| Добавлено: 31.07.2016, 22:29 Заголовок сообщения: |
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That's correct
_________________
What doesn't destroy me, makes me stronger. - F. Nietzshe
Your life is yours alone, rise up and live it! - T. Goodkind
May you live every day of your life. - J. Swift |
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Gra-ach
Зарегистрирован: 08.11.2011
Сообщения: 3336
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| Добавлено: 29.09.2016, 20:23 Заголовок сообщения: |
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A vicious circle of life LOL
_________________
What doesn't destroy me, makes me stronger. - F. Nietzshe
Your life is yours alone, rise up and live it! - T. Goodkind
May you live every day of your life. - J. Swift |
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Gra-ach
Зарегистрирован: 08.11.2011
Сообщения: 3336
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| Добавлено: 31.10.2016, 15:53 Заголовок сообщения: |
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Brain is tricky this way!
_________________
What doesn't destroy me, makes me stronger. - F. Nietzshe
Your life is yours alone, rise up and live it! - T. Goodkind
May you live every day of your life. - J. Swift |
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Gra-ach
Зарегистрирован: 08.11.2011
Сообщения: 3336
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| Добавлено: 01.11.2016, 00:16 Заголовок сообщения: |
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It's kinda sad but true and funny at the same time
_________________
What doesn't destroy me, makes me stronger. - F. Nietzshe
Your life is yours alone, rise up and live it! - T. Goodkind
May you live every day of your life. - J. Swift |
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