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ÑîîáùåíèåÄîáàâëåíî: 09.01.2015, 12:45    Çàãîëîâîê ñîîáùåíèÿ: Useful articles Îòâåòèòü ñ öèòàòîé

Sometimes the links get removed, so I decided to post interesting short articles here to keep a copy for ourselves Smile the links for original publications are to be added for copyright reasons.

Forget Setting Goals. Focus on This Instead.
By James Clear

DECEMBER 17, 2013

We all have things that we want to achieve in our lives -- getting into the better shape, building a successful business, raising a wonderful family, writing a best-selling book, winning a championship, and so on.

And for most of us, the path to those things starts by setting a specific and actionable goal. At least, this is how I approached my life until recently. I would set goals for classes I took, for weights that I wanted to lift in the gym, and for clients I wanted in my business.

What I'm starting to realize, however, is that when it comes to actually getting things done and making progress in the areas that are important to you, there is a much better way to do things.

It all comes down to the difference between goals and systems.

Let me explain.

The Difference Between Goals and Systems

What's the difference between goals and systems?

If you're a coach, your goal is to win a championship. Your system is what your team does at practice each day.
If you're a writer, your goal is to write a book. Your system is the writing schedule that you follow each week.
If you're a runner, your goal is to run a marathon. Your system is your training schedule for the month.
If you're an entrepreneur, your goal is to build a million dollar business. Your system is your sales and marketing process.
Now for the really interesting question:

If you completely ignored your goals and focused only on your system, would you still get results?

For example, if you were a basketball coach and you ignored your goal to win a championship and focused only on what your team does at practice each day, would you still get results?

I think you would.

As an example, I just added up the total word count for the articles I've written this year. (You can see them all here.) In the last 12 months, I've written over 115,000 words. The typical book is about 50,000 to 60,000 words, so I have basically written two books this year.

All of this is such a surprise because I never set a goal for my writing. I didn't measure my progress in relation to some benchmark. I never set a word count goal for any particular article. I never said, "I want to write two books this year."

What I did focus on was writing one article every Monday and Thursday. And after sticking to that schedule for 11 months, the result was 115,000 words. I focused on my system and the process of doing the work. In the end, I enjoyed the same (or perhaps better) results.

Let's talk about three more reasons why you should focus on systems instead of goals.

1. Goals reduce your current happiness.
When you're working toward a goal, you are essentially saying, "I'm not good enough yet, but I will be when I reach my goal."

The problem with this mindset is that you're teaching yourself to always put happiness and success off until the next milestone is achieved. "Once I reach my goal, then I'll be happy. Once I achieve my goal, then I'll be successful."

SOLUTION: Commit to a process, not a goal.

Choosing a goal puts a huge burden on your shoulders. Can you imagine if I had made it my goal to write two books this year? Just writing that sentence stresses me out.

But we do this to ourselves all the time. We place unnecessary stress on ourselves to lose weight or to succeed in business or to write a best-selling novel. Instead, you can keep things simple and reduce stress by focusing on the daily process and sticking to your schedule, rather than worrying about the big, life-changing goals.

When you focus on the practice instead of the performance, you can enjoy the present moment and improve at the same time.

2. Goals are strangely at odds with long-term progress.
You might think your goal will keep you motivated over the long-term, but that's not always true.

Consider someone training for a half-marathon. Many people will work hard for months, but as soon as they finish the race, they stop training. Their goal was to finish the half-marathon and now that they have completed it, that goal is no longer there to motivate them. When all of your hard work is focused on a particular goal, what is left to push you forward after you achieve it?

This can create a type of "yo-yo effect" where people go back and forth from working on a goal to not working on one. This type of cycle makes it difficult to build upon your progress for the long-term.

SOLUTION: Release the need for immediate results.

I was training at the gym last week and I was doing my second-to-last set of clean and jerks. When I hit that rep, I felt a small twinge in my leg. It wasn't painful or an injury, just a sign of fatigue near the end of my workout. For a minute or two, I thought about doing my final set. Then, I reminded myself that I plan to do this for the rest of my life and decided to call it a day.

In a situation like the one above, a goal-based mentality will tell you to finish the workout and reach your goal. After all, if you set a goal and you don't reach it, then you feel like a failure.

But with a systems-based mentality, I had no trouble moving on. Systems-based thinking is never about hitting a particular number, it's about sticking to the process and not missing workouts.

Of course, I know that if I never miss a workout, then I will lift bigger weights in the long-run. And that's why systems are more valuable than goals. Goals are about the short-term result. Systems are about the long-term process. In the end, process always wins.

3. Goals suggest that you can control things that you have no control over.
You can't predict the future. (I know, shocking.)

But every time we set a goal, we try to do it. We try to plan out where we will be and when we will make it there. We try to predict how quickly we can make progress, even though we have no idea what circumstances or situations will arise along the way.

SOLUTION: Build feedback loops.

Each Friday, I spend 15 minutes filling out a small spreadsheet with the most critical metrics for my business. For example, in one column I calculate the conversion rate (the percentage of website visitors that join my free email newsletter each week). I rarely think about this number, but checking that column each week provides a feedback loop that tells me if I'm doing things right. When that number drops, I know that I need to send high quality traffic to my site.

Feedback loops are important for building good systems because they allow you to keep track of many different pieces without feeling the pressure to predict what is going to happen with everything. Forget about predicting the future and build a system that can signal when you need to make adjustments.

Fall In Love With Systems

None of this is to say that goals are useless. However, I've found that goals are good for planning your progress and systems are good for actually making progress.

In fact, I think I'm going to officially declare 2014 the "Year of the Sloth" so that everyone will be forced to slow down and make consistent, methodical progress rather than chasing sexy goals for a few weeks and then flaming out.

Goals can provide direction and even push you forward in the short-term, but eventually a well-designed system will always win. Having a system is what matters. Committing to the process is what makes the difference.

A version of this article was first published on JamesClear.com. For useful ideas on improving your mental and physical performance, join his free weekly newsletter.

Source: http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/230333   

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ÑîîáùåíèåÄîáàâëåíî: 12.01.2015, 19:30    Çàãîëîâîê ñîîáùåíèÿ: Îòâåòèòü ñ öèòàòîé

Thank you Tetyana, this is useful indeed! Smile   
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ÑîîáùåíèåÄîáàâëåíî: 17.01.2015, 15:02    Çàãîëîâîê ñîîáùåíèÿ: Îòâåòèòü ñ öèòàòîé

Why I Stopped Teaching My Kids the Wrong Lesson About Hard Work

If you work hard enough, you can accomplish anything. It sounds like great advice. But in the end, it’s a total disaster…

Last week, I was packing my family for a twelve-hour spring break car trip from Chicago to Atlanta. We had anticipated the trip for months. In Atlanta, my kids would reconnect with a cousin, I would see a childhood friend after seven years apart, and my wife would be recognized at a conference for the publication of her first textbook—a celebration of three years of painstaking work.

Days earlier, my daughter had spilled yogurt all over her car seat. I was in the kitchen, scrubbing at the seat with rags, when my oldest son remarked, “Dad, I don’t think you can get it clean.” I looked at him, gritted my jaw, and announced, “Buddy, if you work hard enough, you can do anything.”

I was running a high fever at the time.

In fact, I had been running a high fever for several days. I had the flu. And not a run-of-the-mill kind of bug—I was infected with a ferocious beast that had me aching and chilled and exhausted. My wife was sick, too. Yet, insisting hard work would win the day, I continued packing for our vacation.

Forty-eight hours later, I would be telling my son something entirely different…

What Hard Work Can Accomplish

I think work is a very good thing. In my experience, people are happiest when work is a part of their lives, particularly if the work feels rewarding and promotes a sense of dignity. And hard work is often the place we learn determination and perseverance.

But teaching your son, “If you work hard, you can do anything,” is a problem. Not because it isn’t true, but because it is. If you work too hard, you can do a lot of unhealthy things:

you can ignore your body and all of its needs,

you can run yourself right into the ground,

you can forget that work is good but play is sacred,

you can get obsessed with extraordinary things and forget all about lovely, ordinary things—like rest and laughter and wasting time,

and you can refuse to quit your plans even while a virus refuses to quit your body.

In a word, you can refuse to be limited. And in doing so, you can refuse to accept something fundamental about your humanity.

I don’t like to accept I’m limited because, somewhere along the way, I started to condition my worthiness upon being able to do it all. I started to believe my value was contingent upon doing everything for everyone, and being everything to everyone. I guess feeling like we are not enough on the inside compels us to prove we are more than enough on the outside.

One overworked day at a time.

What Giving Up Can Accomplish

Forty-eight hours after I told my son hard work could accomplish anything, my family and I sat next to a highway in Chattanooga, Tennessee. Ten hours from home and two hours from Atlanta—two hours from a long-missed cousin, two hours from a childhood friend, and two hours from a dinner banquet honoring my wife.

My daughter’s car seat was clean, but our blood remained dirty with the virus. Our symptoms raged on unabated. We had pushed and worked our way to the edge of Atlanta—we had gas in the car, but our bodies were running on empty.

I could no longer deny my limitations—no amount of hard work was going to beat this bug. I couldn’t get my kids to their cousin. I couldn’t get to my friend. And I couldn’t get my wife to her banquet. It was time to turn around and go home.

My son couldn’t understand why we were “giving up.” He was angry. I couldn’t blame him. Just two days earlier I had told him a person can do anything if they work hard enough. So, I looked in the rearview mirror, and I told him I’d been wrong. I told him it wasn’t about giving up—it was about being human and honoring the reality of our limitations.

And then we turned the car around and headed for home—for a quiet house and a comfortable bed and rest and restoration and healing. We turned away from some extraordinary experiences and headed home for some very normal, very limited things.

The Blessing of Being Limited

It’s good—perhaps even holy—to be faced with our limitations and our finitude. We need to stare right into the conditions of worth we place upon ourselves and ask ourselves all over again: am I worthy, even when I’m broken and limited and so very, very human?

Because we are limited creatures. Microscopic bugs can level us, our bodies can break without warning, and our minds can betray us. We are limited in our ability to earn the love and approval of others. We have limited control of the world and of the future. We can’t slow time down and we can’t rewind it. While love itself is limitless, our ability to live lovingly is often woefully limited.

And yet.

There is always one thing within our power: to embrace ourselves, right in the midst of our limitations. To rest in the truth of our worthiness. To dwell in the peace of it. To be restored by the reality of our sufficiency.

This coming week, I’m going to “put my money where my mouth is,” and for the first time since I began UnTangled, I’m not going to publish a blog post next Wednesday. I’m going to spend my time recovering from this bug, I’m going to try to get a little rest, and I’m going to trust that will be enough.

I hope you’ll take a break, too, Dear Reader, to rest awhile in your worthiness.

Question: Is the quality or quantity of your work one of your conditions of worthiness? What else do you condition your worth upon? How has being confronted with your limitations led to greater self-acceptance?

Original article: http://drkellyflanagan.com/2014/04/09/why-i-stopped-teaching-my-kids-the-wrong-lesson-about-hard-work/   

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Çàðåãèñòðèðîâàí: 09.09.2012
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ÑîîáùåíèåÄîáàâëåíî: 18.03.2015, 17:34    Çàãîëîâîê ñîîáùåíèÿ: Îòâåòèòü ñ öèòàòîé

Enthusiasm vs. Action
Why You Need One More Than the Other


Everybody wants to know the secret to launching a successful business. And, more often than not, any entrepreneur will have the inner dialogue that goes a little something like this: should I be all out there, enthusiastic, getting the word out? Or should I be nose to the grindstone, pay attention to the details, don’t look up?

Enthusiasm or action?

The truth is, you absolutely need both.

I know a lot of people with massive amounts of enthusiasm, but they can’t execute dick. Then, there’s the other side. People that can execute As on every paper, but without that passion, that bravado or fire, they’re only able to get limited return on that investment of execution.

But when it comes down to it, there is one that rises above the other. And that is action.

I’ve written before about how I think we are in the age of the introverted entrepreneur, and that applies here too. There are plenty of resources for you if you find yourself struggling with the enthusiasm part of the equation. Because when it comes down to it, what is more important: being excited about something, or actually doing that something?

People assume that because I am so outgoing, I’m mostly enthusiasm. But my enthusiasm is simply a byproduct of what comes naturally to me. I am far more action than anything else. If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t have so much going on. You need to put in the work. I pride myself on those skills, and I think my charisma often hides what I really am underneath, and that is: a hardcore executioner.

Don’t forget: I had run a large business before I ever “hit the scene,” so to speak. I was already thirty-years old when I started WineLibraryTV, the video show that put me on the map. I made my business happen, regardless of my personality. That was not the driving force. The driving force was my ability to execute.

So, if you only have enthusiasm, it’s time to find a partner or reevaluate, my friend. If you have the action skill set, use it. Use it a lot. And if you want the enthusiasm, go for it. But don’t waste time betting on your weaknesses. Bet on your strengths. That’s how you’ll win.


WRITTEN BY
Gary Vaynerchuk
https://medium.com/@garyvee/enthusiasm-vs-action-6c6bc257d7c1   

_________________
"As you think, so shall you become." - Bruce Lee
"Have fun, do good, and the money will come." - Richard Branson
"Believe in yourself. Keep writing." - Neil Gaiman   
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ÑîîáùåíèåÄîáàâëåíî: 14.06.2015, 12:29    Çàãîëîâîê ñîîáùåíèÿ: Îòâåòèòü ñ öèòàòîé

Tapping Your Inner Wolf
By CARL SAFINAJUNE 5, 2015


MEN often face pressure to measure up as alpha males, to “wolf up” as it were. Alpha male connotes the man who at every moment demonstrates that he’s in total control in the home, and who away from home can become snarling and aggressive.

This alpha male stereotype comes from a misunderstanding of the real thing. In fact, the male wolf is an exemplary male role model. By observing wolves in free-living packs in Yellowstone National Park, I’ve seen that the leadership of the ranking male is not forced, not domineering and not aggressive to those on his team.

“The main characteristic of an alpha male wolf,” the veteran wolf researcher Rick McIntyre told me as we were watching gray wolves, “is a quiet confidence, quiet self-assurance. You know what you need to do; you know what’s best for your pack. You lead by example. You’re very comfortable with that. You have a calming effect.”

The point is, alpha males are not aggressive. They don’t need to be. “Think of an emotionally secure man, or a great champion. Whatever he needed to prove is already proven,” he said.

There is an evolutionary logic to it.

“Imagine two wolf packs, or two human tribes,” Mr. McIntyre said. “Which is more likely to survive and reproduce? The one whose members are more cooperative, more sharing, less violent with one another; or the group whose members are beating each other up and competing with one another?”

Thus, an alpha male may be a major player in a successful hunt but then, after the takedown of the prey, may step away and sleep until his pack has eaten and is full.

Mr. McIntyre has spent 20 years watching and studying wolves in Yellowstone for the National Park Service. He rises early, uses radio telemetry to pinpoint the location of a pack with a radio-collared member, then heads out with his spotting scope to observe them, keeping careful notes of their activities.

In all that time, he has rarely seen an alpha male act aggressively toward the pack’s other members. They are his family — his mate, offspring (both biological and adopted) and maybe a sibling.

This does not mean that alpha males are not tough when they need to be. One famous wolf in Yellowstone whose radio collar number, 21, became his name, was considered a “super wolf” by the people who closely observed the arc of his life. He was fierce in defense of family and apparently never lost a fight with a rival pack. Yet within his own pack, one of his favorite things was to wrestle with little pups.

“And what he really loved to do was to pretend to lose. He just got a huge kick out of it,” Mr. McIntyre said.

One year, a pup was a bit sickly. The other pups seemed to be afraid of him and wouldn’t play with him. Once, after delivering food for the small pups, 21 stood looking around for something. Soon he started wagging his tail. He’d been looking for the sickly little pup, and he just went over to hang out with him for a while.

Of all Mr. McIntyre’s stories about the super wolf, that’s his favorite. Strength impresses us. But kindness is what we remember best.

If you watch wolves, it’s hard to escape the conclusion that perhaps no two species are more alike behaviorally than wolves and humans. Living as we do in families, we can easily recognize the social structures and status quests in wolf packs. No wonder Native Americans recognized in wolves a sibling spirit.

The similarities between male wolves and male humans can be quite striking. Males of very few other species help procure food year-round for the entire family, assist in raising their young to full maturity and defend their packs year-round against others of their species who threaten their safety. Male wolves appear to stick more with that program than their human counterparts do.

Biologists used to consider the alpha male the undisputed boss. But now they recognize two hierarchies at work in wolf packs — one for the males, the other for the females.

Doug Smith, the biologist who is the project leader for the Yellowstone Gray Wolf Restoration Project, said the females “do most of the decision making” for the pack, including where to travel, when to rest and when to hunt. The matriarch’s personality can set the tone for the whole pack, Dr. Smith said.

Or, as Mr. McIntyre put it: “It’s the alpha female who really runs the show.”

Clearly, our alpha male stereotype could use a corrective makeover. Men can learn a thing or two from real wolves: less snarl, more quiet confidence, leading by example, faithful devotion in the care and defense of families, respect for females and a sharing of responsibilities. That’s really what wolfing up should mean.

Original article: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/06/opinion/tapping-your-inner-wolf.html?utm_source=pocket&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=pockethits   

_________________
"Having 2 ears and one tongue means we should listen twice as much as we speak."
"I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas Edison"
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ÑîîáùåíèåÄîáàâëåíî: 17.06.2015, 12:18    Çàãîëîâîê ñîîáùåíèÿ: Îòâåòèòü ñ öèòàòîé

How A Slight Change In Mindset Accelerated My Learning Forever
A personal sports story and a practical life tip.


A few years ago, I spent 2 weeks learning how to Kitesurf in Egypt. It was a stressful time in my life as I was in the early stages of a startup with a lean bank account, but a friend of mine managed to convince me to travel 2000+ miles to an isolated spot by the Red Sea, basically in the middle of nowhere.

Ras Sudr — Egypt, A Kitesurfing paradise in the middle of nowhere.
I had the opportunity to study the behavior of multiple beginner groups going through an identical learning process and gained an interesting insight that considerably accelerated my learning curve.

I now use this technique every time I learn something new.

If you are not familiar with Kitesurfing, it’s a sport where you speed over water using a kite to harness the power of the wind and a board as a floatation device. It is incredibly fun.


All beginners are taught the following steps, in this order:

1. Basic theory
2. How to manipulate your kite in shallow water (or on land)
3. How to use the power of the kite to get dragged in the water (called body-dragging)
4. How to take off with a board on your feet
5. How to sail in both directions
6. How to turn

We are going to concentrate on Step 4: Taking off.

Here is what your teacher would tell you:

1. Stabilise your kite in the air above you (12 o’clock)
2. Sit in the water while holding your board in your hand
3. Put your feet into the straps of your board
4. Pull your kite back just a little (at 11 o’clock) (See drawing)
5. Pull your kite in one motion into the power zone (almost to the horizon) — This will pull you out of the water immediately and get you moving.
6. Bring your kite back up before it hits the water

Watching people go through this learning curve is fascinating. The beginners are all bobbing in and out of the water. One second they’re pulled out of the water the next they are back in, never gaining any speed or momentum.

Before trying this out myself, I spent some time working on understanding why this was happening and what I could do to avoid bobbing and instead sail away after my takeoff.

I sat down in the sand and started analyzing what the more confirmed kitesurfers were doing in comparison to the beginners.

That’s when it hit me: The beginners were half-assing it. That’s all.

Beginner kites were not coming even close to the horizon whereas confirmed kiters were flying down towards “6 o’clock” as if their lives depended on it.

What struck me most is that it has NOTHING TO DO WITH TECHNIQUE. All you have to do is pull on one side of your bar, hard (the bar is the equivalent of a steering wheel for your kite).

If you don’t pull hard, you kite moves slowly and gives you less power. It’s not rocket science, yet 99% of beginners only pulled half way. When it was my turn, I shut my brain off, and did exactly what the pros were doing. I pulled hard, and waited for my kite to get low before pulling back.

I was out of the water speeding on my first try.

A few minutes later I made a sailing mistake and got slammed face first at high speed into the water, but that’s another story. So why do most beginners only pull halfway? Because they feel shy. They aren’t comfortable in this new situation so they tiptoe around instead of “jumping in”.

Here’s how their inner voice goes: “Let’s just pull a little and see what happens. It might work. I’ll pull harder next time.” What’s interesting is that they ended up crashing way more times than I did.

I convinced myself not to feel shy, rehearsed the move on land and in my mind many times, and was determined to simply replicate what I saw the experts doing. Two hours later, I was having a blast sailing around, while the others were still “pulling a little more to see what would happen”.

The reason I’m sharing this story with you is because it’s such a clear example of how timidity slows down the learning process. Remember, this step didn’t call for any technique whatsoever. All you need to do is pull on a bar hard enough. In this example after hours or sometimes days of trying, the beginners eventually all ended up pulling hard on the bar, and making it.

They all followed a slow process that led them after many unsuccessful tries to mistakenly pull hard enough once, see that it worked, and only then internalize the lesson and start applying it consistently.

Ironically, these people crashed many more times than I did because they were playing it safe and trying not to crash. They thought they were taking less risks when in fact they were insuring a longer and tougher learning process.

Fast learners know this trick of the mind and apply it all the time. Refuse to be shy. Don’t overthink it. Once you know what to do, do it all the way. Jump in. You will learn faster, and you will have a lot more fun in the process.

This is one of my favorite techniques to accelerate my learning curve in any activity especially if it involves physical skills. Fast learners take the plunge and go all the way. They harbor the crazy hope that they might get it right on the first try.

And sometimes they do.

Since learning this lesson, I’ve applied this technique over and over in many different situations.

For my own learning
As a rule of thumb, when I catch myself thinking “let’s give this a try” and my palms are moist, I know that it’s time to remind myself of this story and to make sure I’m in the right mindset. The impact has been amazing.

When teaching others
This has turned out to be a powerful tool when teaching beginners — something I’m very fond of. When I’m teaching a beginner friend how to surf for example, I will usually count on him not being in the right mindset from the start. To help him overcome his shyness, I always explain that he will instinctively want to “try only a little” and stay in a crouched position on his board instead of standing up.

Together, we then work on tricking his brain into avoiding exactly that by focusing on training his body. With the board laying flat on the sand, I have him simulate the action of standing up on his surfboard with the correct position, in one motion.

As soon as he gets it right, we start counting. We do it enough times in a row that he stops relying on his brain to tell him what to do and instead trusts his body to remember how it’s done. (The amount of times you should repeat this varies from person to person. It can be anywhere from 10 times to 30+.)

When we are out in the water and I push him into a wave, the adrenaline is pumping and his brain is yelling at him that he is not familiar with this dodgy situation and should only “try a little.” But by this time, he knows his brain is wrong and in that fraction of a second where he questions the yelling, his body takes over and executes on what it knows.

He’s up and surfing the first wave of his life, and most likely has no idea how he did it. His body is taking in the feeling though, and on the next wave it will repeat the process with even more ease.

Wave after wave, little by little, the mind reconnects with the body and he can start putting the parts of the puzzle together; as a surfer.

(Tristan de Montebello specializes in teaching total beginners how to learn new activities lightning fast. He is on a quest to teach 1000 adults how to learn guitar. Learn more at AboutTheStart.com.)   

_________________
"As you think, so shall you become." - Bruce Lee
"Have fun, do good, and the money will come." - Richard Branson
"Believe in yourself. Keep writing." - Neil Gaiman   
Âåðíóòüñÿ ê íà÷àëó
Ïîñìîòðåòü ïðîôèëü Îòïðàâèòü ëè÷íîå ñîîáùåíèå
Procyona



Çàðåãèñòðèðîâàí: 09.09.2012
Ñîîáùåíèÿ: 1876
Îòêóäà: Finland

ÑîîáùåíèåÄîáàâëåíî: 23.09.2015, 20:43    Çàãîëîâîê ñîîáùåíèÿ: Îòâåòèòü ñ öèòàòîé

A real good article about finding your values.

Here is the link to the whole article. For abbreviation, see below.
https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTED_85.htm


What Are Your Values?
Deciding What's Most Important in Life


How would you define your values?

Before you answer this question, you need to know what, in general, values are.

Your values are the things that you believe are important in the way you live and work.

They (should) determine your priorities, and, deep down, they're probably the measures you use to tell if your life is turning out the way you want it to.

When the things that you do and the way you behave match your values, life is usually good – you're satisfied and content. But when these don't align with your personal values, that's when things feel... wrong. This can be a real source of unhappiness.

This is why making a conscious effort to identify your values is so important.

How Values Help You

Values exist, whether you recognize them or not. Life can be much easier when you acknowledge your values – and when you make plans and decisions that honor them.

If you value family, but you have to work 70-hour weeks in your job, will you feel internal stress and conflict? And if you don't value competition, and you work in a highly competitive sales environment, are you likely to be satisfied with your job?

In these types of situations, understanding your values can really help. When you know your own values, you can use them to make decisions about how to live your life, and you can answer questions like these:
What job should I pursue?

Should I accept this promotion?
Should I start my own business?
Should I compromise, or be firm with my position?
Should I follow tradition, or travel down a new path?

So, take the time to understand the real priorities in your life, and you'll be able to determine the best direction for you and your life goals Add to My Personal Learning Plan!

Tip:
Values are usually fairly stable, yet they don't have strict limits or boundaries. Also, as you move through life, your values may change. For example, when you start your career, success – measured by money and status – might be a top priority. But after you have a family, work-life balance may be what you value more.

As your definition of success changes, so do your personal values. This is why keeping in touch with your values is a lifelong exercise. You should continuously revisit this, especially if you start to feel unbalanced... and you can't quite figure out why.

As you go through the exercise below, bear in mind that values that were important in the past may not be relevant now.
Defining Your Values

When you define your personal values, you discover what's truly important to you. A good way of starting to do this is to look back on your life – to identify when you felt really good, and really confident that you were making good choices.

Step 1: Identify the times when you were happiest

Find examples from both your career and personal life. This will ensure some balance in your answers.

What were you doing?
Were you with other people? Who?
What other factors contributed to your happiness?

Step 2: Identify the times when you were most proud

Use examples from your career and personal life.

Why were you proud?
Did other people share your pride? Who?
What other factors contributed to your feelings of pride?

Step 3: Identify the times when you were most fulfilled and satisfied

Again, use both work and personal examples.

What need or desire was fulfilled?
How and why did the experience give your life meaning?
What other factors contributed to your feelings of fulfillment?

Step 4: Determine your top values, based on your experiences of happiness, pride, and fulfillment

Why is each experience truly important and memorable? Use the following list (see the article) of common personal values to help you get started – and aim for about 10 top values. (As you work through, you may find that some of these naturally combine. For instance, if you value philanthropy, community, and generosity, you might say that service to others is one of your top values.)

Step 5: Prioritize your top values

This step is probably the most difficult, because you'll have to look deep inside yourself. It's also the most important step, because, when making a decision, you'll have to choose between solutions that may satisfy different values. This is when you must know which value is more important to you.

Write down your top values, not in any particular order.
Look at the first two values and ask yourself, "If I could satisfy only one of these, which would I choose?" It might help to visualize a situation in which you would have to make that choice. For example, if you compare the values of service and stability, imagine that you must decide whether to sell your house and move to another country to do valuable foreign aid work, or keep your house and volunteer to do charity work closer to home.

Keep working through the list, by comparing each value with each other value, until your list is in the correct order.

Tip:
If you have a tough time doing this, consider using Paired Comparison Analysis Add to My Personal Learning Plan to help you. With this method, you decide which of two options is most important, and then assign a score to show how much more important it is. Since it's so important to identify and prioritize your values, investing your time in this step is definitely worth it.

Step 6: Reaffirm your values

Check your top-priority values, and make sure they fit with your life and your vision for yourself.

Do these values make you feel good about yourself?
Are you proud of your top three values?
Would you be comfortable and proud to tell your values to people you respect and admire?
Do these values represent things you would support, even if your choice isn't popular, and it puts you in the minority?

When you consider your values in decision making, you can be sure to keep your sense of integrity and what you know is right, and approach decisions with confidence and clarity. You'll also know that what you're doing is best for your current and future happiness and satisfaction.

Making value-based choices may not always be easy. However, making a choice that you know is right is a lot less difficult in the long run.

Key Points

Identifying and understanding your values is a challenging and important exercise. Your personal values are a central part of who you are – and who you want to be. By becoming more aware of these important factors in your life, you can use them as a guide to make the best choice in any situation.

Some of life's decisions are really about determining what you value most. When many options seem reasonable, it's helpful and comforting to rely on your values – and use them as a strong guiding force to point you in the right direction.   

_________________
"As you think, so shall you become." - Bruce Lee
"Have fun, do good, and the money will come." - Richard Branson
"Believe in yourself. Keep writing." - Neil Gaiman   
Âåðíóòüñÿ ê íà÷àëó
Ïîñìîòðåòü ïðîôèëü Îòïðàâèòü ëè÷íîå ñîîáùåíèå
vmashchenko



Çàðåãèñòðèðîâàí: 17.12.2013
Ñîîáùåíèÿ: 944
Îòêóäà: Êèåâ

ÑîîáùåíèåÄîáàâëåíî: 25.09.2015, 08:54    Çàãîëîâîê ñîîáùåíèÿ: Îòâåòèòü ñ öèòàòîé

Thank you.

I've read the first article - great, that's what I say my clients - build systems and it'll bring you desired results and make you happy!

I think I will translate this article to russian and put on my web site.   

_________________
Âÿ÷åñëàâ Ìàùåíêî   
Âåðíóòüñÿ ê íà÷àëó
Ïîñìîòðåòü ïðîôèëü Îòïðàâèòü ëè÷íîå ñîîáùåíèå Îòïðàâèòü e-mail
Procyona



Çàðåãèñòðèðîâàí: 09.09.2012
Ñîîáùåíèÿ: 1876
Îòêóäà: Finland

ÑîîáùåíèåÄîáàâëåíî: 07.10.2015, 16:52    Çàãîëîâîê ñîîáùåíèÿ: Îòâåòèòü ñ öèòàòîé

This one is about creativity. There are many ways to be and do more, and I think the main thing is to create boundaries for yourself. Limit your time, limit what you work on and plan when to start and stop days work.
What do you think is the best way to stay productive?

_____
The article:
_____

21 Tips to Become the Most Productive Person You Know

I wanted to help you create explosive productivity so you get big things done (and make your life matter).
Here are 21 tips to get you to your best productivity.

#1. Check email in the afternoon so you protect the peak energy hours of your mornings for your best work.

#2. Stop waiting for perfect conditions to launch a great project. Immediate action fuels a positive feedback loop that drives even more action.

#3. Remember that big, brave goals release energy. So set them clearly and then revisit them every morning for 5 minutes.

#4. Mess creates stress (I learned this from tennis icon Andre Agassi who said he wouldn’t let anyone touch his tennis bag because if it got disorganized, he’d get distracted). So clean out the clutter in your office to get more done.

#5. Sell your TV. You’re just watching other people get successful versus doing the things that will get you to your dreams.

#6. Say goodbye to the energy vampires in your life (the negative souls who steal your enthusiasm).

#7. Run routines. When I studied the creative lives of massively productive people like Stephen King, John Grisham and Thomas Edison, I discovered they follow strict daily routines. (i.e., when they would get up, when they would start work, when they would exercise and when they would relax). Peak productivity’s not about luck. It’s about devotion.

#8. Get up at 5 am. Win the battle of the bed. Put mind over mattress. This habit alone will strengthen your willpower so it serves you more dutifully in the key areas of your life.

#9. Don’t do so many meetings. (I’ve trained the employees of our FORTUNE 500 clients on exactly how to do this – including having the few meetings they now do standing up – and it’s created breakthrough results for them).

#10. Don’t say yes to every request. Most of us have a deep need to be liked. That translates into us saying yes to everything – which is the end of your elite productivity.

#11. Outsource everything you can’t be BIW (Best in the World) at. Focus only on activities within what I call “Your Picasso Zone”.

#12. Stop multi-tasking. New research confirms that all the distractions invading our lives are rewiring the way our brains work (and drop our IQ by 5 points!). Be one of the rare-air few who develops the mental and physical discipline to have a mono-maniacal focus on one thing for many hours. (It’s all about practice).

#13. Get fit like Madonna. Getting to your absolute best physical condition will create explosive energy, renew your focus and multiply your creativity.

#14. Workout 2X a day. This is just one of the little-known productivity tactics that I’ll walk you through in my new online training program YOUR PRODUCTIVITY UNLEASHED (details at the end of this post) but here’s the key: exercise is one of the greatest productivity tools in the world. So do 20 minutes first thing in the morning and then another workout around 6 or 7 pm to set you up for wow in the evening.

#15. Drink more water. When you’re dehydrated, you’ll have far less energy. And get less done.

#16. Work in 90 minute blocks with 10 minute intervals to recover and refuel (another game-changing move I personally use to do my best work).

#17. Write a Stop Doing List. Every productive person obsessively sets To Do Lists. But those who play at world-class also record what they commit to stop doing. Steve Jobs said that what made Apple Apple was not so much what they chose to build but all the projects they chose to ignore.

#18. Use your commute time. If you’re commuting 30 minutes each way every day – get this: at the end of a year, you’ve spent 6 weeks of 8 hour days in your car. I encourage you to use that time to listen to fantastic books on audio + excellent podcasts and valuable learning programs. Remember, the fastest way to double your income is to triple your rate of learning.

#19. Be a contrarian. Why buy your groceries at the time the store is busiest? Why go to movies on the most popular nights? Why hit the gym when the gym’s completely full? Do things at off-peak hours and you’ll save so many of them.

#20. Get things right the first time. Most people are wildly distracted these days. And so they make mistakes. To unleash your productivity, become one of the special performers who have the mindset of doing what it takes to get it flawless first. This saves you days of having to fix problems.

#21. Get lost. Don’t be so available to everyone. I often spend hours at a time in the cafeteria of a university close to our headquarters. I turn off my devices and think, create, plan and write. Zero interruptions. Pure focus. Massive results.

I truly hope these 21 productivity tips have been valuable to you. And that I’ve been of service. Your productivity is your life made visible. Please protect it.Stay productive.   

_________________
"As you think, so shall you become." - Bruce Lee
"Have fun, do good, and the money will come." - Richard Branson
"Believe in yourself. Keep writing." - Neil Gaiman   
Âåðíóòüñÿ ê íà÷àëó
Ïîñìîòðåòü ïðîôèëü Îòïðàâèòü ëè÷íîå ñîîáùåíèå
Procyona



Çàðåãèñòðèðîâàí: 09.09.2012
Ñîîáùåíèÿ: 1876
Îòêóäà: Finland

ÑîîáùåíèåÄîáàâëåíî: 11.01.2016, 15:48    Çàãîëîâîê ñîîáùåíèÿ: Îòâåòèòü ñ öèòàòîé

Something to think about ego. Very Happy

The Surprising Benefits of a Quiet Ego
by Scott Barry Kaufman
http://scottbarrykaufman.com/article/the-surprising-benefits-of-a-quiet-ego/

If you stroll down the self-help aisle of most bookstores in America, you’ll notice that book after book is about how to be great, look good, and win. All of these promises for self-enhancement can be loud and quite overwhelming. Sometimes I cheekily wonder, why is there no such thing as a quiet self section?

Of course, I’m not so naive as to think that a quiet-self aisle at Barnes & Noble would ever be as popular as the self-help section. But I am concerned about the results of one large survey, which found that the appearance and frequency in published books of the words “humility” and “humbleness” dropped on average 43.33% from 1901 to 2000. It seems we place a great deal less value on these virtues than we once did.

Fans of current self-help literature may scoff at these findings (at worst) or merely find them irrelevant to their goals. But they’d be wrong to be so dismissive. Because here’s the thing: the latest science of well-being shows that transcending, not enhancing, the self is the most powerful and direct pathway to contentment and inner peace.

Don’t get me wrong: it’s good to have a healthy sense of self. But as psychologist Mark Leary has pointed out, while the self can be our greatest resource, it can also be our darkest enemy. On the one hand, the fundamentally human capacities for self-awareness, self-reflection, and self-control are essential for reaching our goals. On the other, the self has a perpetual desire to be seen in a positive light. The self will do anything to disavow itself of responsibility for any negative outcome it might deserve. As one researcher put it, the self engenders “a self-zoo of self-defense mechanisms.”

Which is why I was so excited to find out about new psychological literature on the “quiet ego.” What is so great about a quiet ego is that it is not a silent ego. As Jack Bauer, Heidi Wayment, and Kateryna Sylaska, who are leading the way in this line of research, put it, “The volume of the ego is turned down so that it might listen to others as well as the self in an effort to approach life more humanely and compassionately.” The quiet ego brings others into the self without losing the self.

According to Bauer and Wayment, the quiet ego consists of four interconnected facets: mindfulness, inclusive identity, perspective-taking, and personal growth. These four characteristics all contribute to having a general stance of balance and growth toward the self and others.
The researchers created a test to measure these four facets.

Facet #1: Mindfulness

The statements testing mindfulness include:

“I find myself doing things while paying attention.”
“I don’t do jobs or tasks automatically, I am aware of what I’m doing.”
“I don’t rush through activities without being really attentive to them.”

Those with a quiet ego are intensely mindful and aware of their surroundings. They are focused on the immediate moment without judgment or preconceived ideas about how the moment should unfold. This non-defensive attitude toward the present moment is associated with many positive life outcomes.

Facet #2: Inclusive identity

Inclusive identity statements include:

“I feel a connection to all living things.”
“I feel a connection with strangers.”
“I feel a connection to people of other races.”

People whose egos are turned down in volume score higher in this facet. If your identity is inclusive, you’re likely to be cooperative and compassionate toward others rather than only working to help yourself.

Facet #3: Perspective taking

Perspective taking statements include:

“Before criticizing somebody, I try to imagine how I would feel if I were in their place.”
“When I’m upset at someone, I usually try to put myself in his or her shoes for a while.”
“I try to look at everybody’s side of a disagreement before I make a decision.”

By reflecting on other viewpoints, the quiet ego brings attention outside the self, increasing empathy and compassion.

Facet #4: Personal growth

Finally, personal growth statements include:

“For me, life has been a continuous process of learning, changing, and growth.”
“I think it is important to have new experiences that challenge how you think about yourself and the world.”

Personal growth and mindfulness complement each other nicely: mindfulness is all about the present moment, whereas personal growth is all about contemplating the longer-term implications of the present moment. Both are part of the quiet ego since both are focused on dynamic processes rather than evaluation of the final product.

The researchers found that those with a quiet ego reported being more interested in personal growth and balance and tended to seek growth through competence, autonomy, and positive social relationships. While a quiet ego was positively related to having a higher self-esteem, it was also related to various indicators of self-transcendence, including prosocial attitudes and behaviors.

This is consistent with the idea that a quiet ego balances compassion with self-protection and growth goals. Indeed, a quiet ego is an indication of a healthy self-esteem—one that acknowledges one’s own limitations, doesn’t need to constantly resort to defensiveness whenever the ego is threatened, and yet has a firm sense of self-worth and value.

They also found that a quiet ego was associated with self-compassion, humility, authenticity, spiritual growth, flexible thinking, open-minded thinking, the ability to savor everyday experiences, life satisfaction, resilience, risk-taking, and the feeling that life is meaningful. If we take a multidimensional conceptualization of well-being (which I do), we see that a quiet ego is more conducive to living a full life.

Interestingly, the researchers also found a moderate positive relationship between having a quiet ego and extroversion. This suggests that having a loud voice doesn’t necessarily mean having a loud ego, and having a quiet voice doesn’t automatically lead to a quiet ego. The strength of the relationship leaves plenty of room for people all across the extroversion spectrum—from extroversion to ambiversion to introversion—to turn the dial down on their ego.

Recent research even suggests that a quiet ego can buffer against existential angst. This is important because anxiety over death is a central (although often hidden) motivating force for many human activities—from religion and spirituality to sexuality to the drive for money and social status to many forms of psychopathology. While self-esteem can serve as an existential anxiety buffer, it also has a potential downside: when the ego is threatened, or when attention is brought to undesirable qualities about the self, thoughts of the inevitability of death increase.

Psychologist Pelin Kesebir argues that a much more constructive and healthier way of dealing with death anxiety is through humility. Across five studies, Pelin Kesebir tested the idea that high levels of humility (measured both as a trait and as a state of being) would be associated with lower death anxiety and lower defensiveness in the face of death thoughts. First, she found that high levels of humility and low levels of entitlement were associated with lower levels of death anxiety and anxiety-induced defensiveness. Humility warded off death anxiety more than qualities such as high self-esteem, mindfulness, general virtuousness, and even having a secure attachment style.

As Kesebir notes, “The humble person is probably more aware and accepting of the fact that against a cosmic scale of time and space, every human being is minute.” Finally, she found that memories of pride-invoking moments did not buffer against death anxiety, whereas memories of humility did.

So, there you have it: a quiet ego may have its volume turned down, but it is in fact the most powerful buffer against threats to the ego, including the biggest threat of them all: death.

Perhaps we should start building that quiet-self section of the bookstore after all.   

_________________
"As you think, so shall you become." - Bruce Lee
"Have fun, do good, and the money will come." - Richard Branson
"Believe in yourself. Keep writing." - Neil Gaiman   
Âåðíóòüñÿ ê íà÷àëó
Ïîñìîòðåòü ïðîôèëü Îòïðàâèòü ëè÷íîå ñîîáùåíèå
Procyona



Çàðåãèñòðèðîâàí: 09.09.2012
Ñîîáùåíèÿ: 1876
Îòêóäà: Finland

ÑîîáùåíèåÄîáàâëåíî: 24.02.2016, 11:22    Çàãîëîâîê ñîîáùåíèÿ: Îòâåòèòü ñ öèòàòîé

Do Fewer Things, Better
I’m going to tell you a secret. I have a very simple, 4-word strategic plan (devised it a few years ago).
Here it is…

Do fewer things, better.

This has made my life — and my work, dramatically better.

Here’s how I execute on my strategic plan:
1. Decide on what matters the most.
2. Say no to everything else.
3. When something falls in the gray area, re-read #2.

Of course, that’s easier said than done. I fail at it all the time — but I’m getting better. Here are some tips learned from years of practice:

1. When making your list, start with a low-level of abstraction. Resist the temptation to make your list really “high-level”. As a somewhat extreme example, one of the things on your priority list shouldn’t be “Become financially secure”. That’s so broad, that you’d be able to rationalize too many things to satisfy that filter. Try to be specific enough that the number of things that “fit” is a manageable number — let’s say 3–5.. If you find yourself taking on too much (which you probably do), refine your filters and move to a lower-level of abstraction. I’ve written an article on this that you might find useful: “The Power of Focus and The Peril of Myopia”.

2. Forgive yourself for having to say “no” to things not on your “fewer things” list. Years ago, I wrote a blog post asking public forgiveness , you can see it here at http://MustSayNo.com. Of all the articles I’ve ever written, that one has had the most positive impact on my life.

3. Remember that every time you say “no” to something you might have said “yes” to, it frees up time to focus on the things that matter.
The more time you spend on the things that matter, the better you get at them.

Let me give you an example: Let’s say you say “no” to some project/request/idea that would have “only” taken a few hours a month, because it didn’t make the “few things that matter” list. And, let’s say that one of the things that does matter to you is being able to better communicate your message to the world — via public speaking. Those few hours you “saved” can be spent on getting your message out. More speaking gigs, more people influenced.

But wait! That’s not all! Not only are you able to do some more public speaking, because you’re going to spend more time on it, you’re going to get better at it. And, because you get better at it, you’re going to get more frequent speaking invites. With larger audiences. And have more influence once you’re on stage. You’re building leverage by getting better and better at the thing that matters. And, it’s amazing how much better you will get, once you decide on only a few things to get better at.

By the way, the reverse of this is true to: Everytime you say “yes” to something, you’re saying “no” to something else. Often, you’re saying “no” to something more important. But, in the heat of the moment, it’s easy to say yes. It’s also guilt-free to say yes.

Teaching myself to say “no” when I know I shouldn’t be saying yes is one of the most important things I’ve learned. It (literally) changed my life.

4. Fight the FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) emotion. It’s a killer. We all have it to varying degrees. This fear that if we don’t say “yes” to something, we’re going to miss out on some big opportunity, small joy or new connection. Yes, sometimes you will miss out, but that’s OK. Life goes on. On average, you will be better off skipping some things, instead of trying to do too much.

More people fail from a gluttony of good activities than from being starved of them.

5. Be super-careful with recurring commitments. If you are going to occasionally say “yes” to things that are not on your “things that matter most” list, be super-careful that they’re not a recurring commitment. A one-time commitment of 4 hours is much less dangerous than a monthly hourly committment. The way I think about this: When I say “yes” to a recurring committment, I’m effectively saying “yes’ multiple times (for as long as I think I’m going to be in that committment). Which brings me to the next point…

6. As painful as it is, prune your prior committments. If you are like me (and apologies if you are), you’ve said yes to a few things that you now sort of regret. Get yourself out of those. Be respectful, be, understanding and be fair — but be disciplined and true to yourself. And just because you committed to something last year with no real “expiration date” doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it forever. Things change. On a related note: For things that don’t have an expiration date, remember that it’s going to be just as painful to prune later as it is now — why not give yourself the gift of some time back sooner?

7. Try to solve for outcome, not activity. Figure out what you want to happen (whether it be a commercial interest or a philanthropic one), and figure out how to best create impact. Usually, optimal outcomes are not achieved by saying “yes” to a bunch of “good” activities (however well-intentioned).

On the point of philanthropy, you might be wondering: “What about doing good, and giving back?”

Warning: My opinion here may be controversial for some and feel beknighted and self-serving to others. Sorry.

First off, if you have the ability to give back, you should do so. No doubt. But the question is, how do you optimimize for outcome?

Let me explain with a personal example. I’m an entrepreneur. Have been for most of my professional career. I LOVE STARTUPS. THEY BRING ME GREAT JOY. I’m one of the co-founders of HubSpot (NYSE:HUBS). I’m also a big fan of Boston and want to see the Boston startup ecosystem grow and thrive.

But a few years ago, I decided to dramatically limit the time I spend directly helping entrepreneurs and the Boston ecosystem.
Why would I do this? Isn’t that selfish? Yes, I guess it is.

I’m a big, big believer in leverage and scale. I like to spend my calories in ways that deliver the greatest impact and the best outcomes. I’m actually quite geeked out on that idea.

The reason I made this decision was that I felt the best way for me to help the startup ecosystem — was to use my time to help make HubSpot a super-successful company. The by-product of that success will be much greater than what I’d get if I were just directly trying to help a handful of startups.

So far, HubSpot has had some modest success. We are a publicly traded company now, valued at over $1 billion (last I checked) and have 1,000+ people working at the company. We have many that have “graduated” HubSpot and gone off to start their own companies or join other teams.

We’ve also made a bunch of people money (several of whom are channeling some of that back into to the ecosystem by way of angel investing). We’ve improved Boston’s “brand” as being a place where big tech companies can still be built (which helps pull in more capital, talent and interest). All in, I’d say HubSpot has had a positive effect on the Boston startup ecosystem.

But, fact remains that instead of being a mentor/advisor/mensch — I’ve sort of been a schmuck when it comes to where I spend my time. My money is a different matter — I’ve made 60+ angel investments. But, I’ve been fiercely protecting of my time and I’ve said “no” to just about everything. And remember, I LOVE STARTUPS. I love helping them. I love the thrill, joy and fulfillment. But, I said “no” anyways. And, I may be rationalizing here — but I think I’ve likely done more for the ecosystem than if I had simply gone to more events, tried to pick a handful of startups to be an advisor/mentor for, etc.

This section got much longer than I planned for it to be. I have a whole other article in draft-mode titled “The Surgeon In The Soup Kitchen”. I’ll give you the abridged message of that post:

Don’t favor what feels the most good. Favor what does the most good.
Thankfully, blogging is a high-leverage activity. And, since I’m using HubSpot to write/promote/track this article, it helps HubSpot too. So, I can rationalize this into my “fewer things” list.

Cheers, and best wishes with your “fewer things”.   

_________________
"As you think, so shall you become." - Bruce Lee
"Have fun, do good, and the money will come." - Richard Branson
"Believe in yourself. Keep writing." - Neil Gaiman   
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